every now and then i fall apart

your depression is like a parasite. every day it lives it feeds off of me. here I am, three hours away from an exam cramming because your depression stole the time i needed for this. who knows maybe if i had that time i still wouldnt feel ready, however i do know that I am constantly thinkig of you when i should constantly be thinking about why "woman" is an unstable category. today is our one year, the sky is bright but i feel like a huge weight is looming over us. when you leave, where will you go? where will I be? will I be trying to cram for a test like I am today only I myself will be a parasite eating off of my own energy and happiness? I've been begging every day for this to end. I just want you to be happy again, whatever that is.