Soooo two days ago I stayed in Gavins room and we layed around and talked and then eventually made out (side note, he is tres amazing at the making out thing!) but other than that he displays no inkling of liking me. okay ill be honest i do the exact same thing but only because im afraid...is he afraid?? nooo I dont know. I just feel horrible it was most likely a stupid fling and nothing more. I should stop visiting and just I dont know. was I used? does it count as being used? does he like me? if he does then why doesnt he act like it? if he doesnt am I stupid and walked into a world I was completely unaware of? Katelin mentioned that they had a thing a while back, a while back is four months ago! was this just a thing to be forgotten? fuck I hate feeling this way. and I keep hoping the more dejected I feel the more likely he will like me. I should just give up. no matter how kind, or how non pushing he was, it was just a fling and should be treated as such. Im so stupid and I think im going to make a playlist regarding this. ...Madonna Im so stupid, Amy Winehouse, he sent me flying... and the likes. if Im going to be alone i may as well be unhappy.
Gavin and I ran down four flights of stairs and up eight to get tickets for rez formal. he really wants to go. maybe i shouldnt go because im not too fond of watching the guys that I like fondle other women and knowing college there will be fondling.
i hate me.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
No comments:
Post a Comment