engl 105

gee whiz i do believe I have a shit load of reading to do for the next three and a half months......

The past few days...

• We have started watching all of the starwars movies!!! its tres fun. Gavins new room mate is pretty awesome. 
  
• cmns 221 IS THE BEST CLASS EVER the teacher played David bowie i got to teach the class about bowie its all about popculture and awesomeness!!!
• I got my ring from Gavin its Yukon Jade its so beautiful. 
• I dropped experimental film for english 105 which is early but whatever Ive always wanted that class
• i hate to admit that I am watching Paris Hilton BFF riight now. 

..

I dont think I like this being made fun of thing. after a while it just feels like your one worthless being not particularily good at anything and it really sucks. he says he's sorry and i accept that its just I wonder if thats how he truly feels on the inside about me? am i really some city girl who cant do shit? or is it like he says ...which is something i cant recall at the moment. all i can really recall is "noo its not like that i was just making fun of you..."|uhh thanks that makes me feel so worhty of your time. maybe i should just go home but its really snowy and icky outside.

i really dont know where to draw the line in concerns to this. like how far is too far? when do i tell him to stop and when do i yell stop your making me feel terrible about myself?? and i know you may be reading this and thinking "oh no thats not good sheena hes bad for you" but its not like that. our relationship has always been light and fluffy and full of teasing it just gets out of hand sometimes like tonight.

\i just wish that i didnt feel so shitty because even though he appologizes profusely, i still feel like everything he has said is true and when im out of college i wont amount to anything because of it.

boys need to be programmed

gr. 

so I call you and you say your watching a movie. fine.

you call me on my cell phone, the number i repeatedly tell you not to call when im home, cuz ill miss the call. okay.

when i return your call and your watching a movie with the rents. cool.

when you decide "oh, ill see her tomorrow I dont feel like talking on the phone" and dance around the subject via facebook then demand I call you so you dont feel bad for ditching me when OBVIOUSLY I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING IMPORTANT. not okay.  

anxiety

im so excited

im so anxious

counting down hours

counting down seconds.

no one else cares

but thats okay

because I do.

T- 13.5 hours

S

I miss youuu but not...but do....but kinda not...but REALLY do...

So I suppose I should say something of interest. Well, the boy returns in mere hours and I am extremely excited only heres the thing, im kinda liking the being alone thing I feel like im more independent again and I like it. like I can watch whatever the hell I want and not have to think about what he wants. I can veg all day long and not hear "I feel ive wasted my entire day by laying in bef all day" because I dont feel that way at all. however the benefits of being without him DO NOT outweigh the negatives and I am forced to concede and tell him, I could not live without you. which is pitiful, but true.

Im reading The Queens Fool by the author of the Other Boleyn Girl and trying to finish it before he comes back. I doubt that will happen.


um Happy new year!

S

Paris is Burning

So I miss you all and decided to make a blog of my own to keep up with your lives and vice versa.

<3 S